A Lindsay Campbell Pop-Ed: My Best Friends Host the 71st Golden Globes

Mark your calendars, boys and girls, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey will be back at it this Sunday, Jan. 12 to host the 71st Golden Globe Awards. This will be their second year hosting, and after the rave reviews they got last year, they’ll have a few tough critics to outwit, but I have no doubts they’ll get it done.

There’s a lot to look forward to this year. Not only will they come out swinging at all the celebrities (with the exception of Taylor Swift — she really didn’t handle last year’s joke well) and likely bring in some of their buddies to amp up the show.

What can we look forward to? 
• More Poehler and Fey. Last year, the No. 1 critique was that while they killed their hosting gig, they weren’t on it enough. This is likely going to change this year. With a year of experience under their belts and confident writers backing them up, I’m sure we’ll see them significantly more.
• Woody Allen will be awarded the Cecil B. DeMille Award. Rumor is he’s not going and is instead sending longtime pal Diane Keaton to accept on his behalf. It’s a bummer he won’t be there in-person to offer up some words of inspiration, but I doubt anyone will get mad as we see a brilliant montage of his finest work.
• A killer lineup of presenters. Everyone from Jennifer Lawrence to Liam Nesson to Chris Hemsworth has signed on to present. While they’ll have the teleprompters to stick to, we all know that it’s the night everyone drinks a bit too much, so expect to see some off-the-cuff presentations from Hollywood’s finest.
• The 2014 Miss Golden Globes will be the one and only Sosie Bacon. If you recognize the last name from more than your brunch menu, it’s because she’s the 21-year-old daughter of Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick. Stunning as ever. Only 15 more years until Alice Richmond (Fey’s daughter) is Miss Golden Globes.

So what kind of jokes can we expect? Here’s a few guesses: 
• The Amy Poehler Vortex freezing up the country
• Lena Dunham’s boobs
• Breaking Bad finale jokes and alternate endings
• Game of Thrones' Red Wedding. I don’t know how they’ll make this a joke because it’s still so scarring, but it was a huge moment in TV this year, they’d be dumb to leave it behind.
• The ‘Blurred Lines’ of twerking

What kind of surprises will we see? If we’re lucky… 
• The Muppets will drop by to say hello. Fey is in the upcoming movie, and we all know they have the tendency to show up to places unexpectedly. This could be one of those moments.
• Olympians make an appearance. This could be a longshot, but it wouldn’t totally surprise me. It’s right around the corner and will be on NBC — a network that’s known to peacock its own programs. (See what I did there? WINK!) Also, if Olympians don’t show up, Tina and Amy could very well appear in a bobsled or some sort of ski gear and talk about how they almost took Lindsey Vonn’s spot on the team.
• Poehler and Fey will reenact a scene from Gravity, dangling above the crowd complaining the only payment they received for the hosting gig was astronaut food.
• Jimmy Fallon passes the Late Night baton to Seth Meyers. This could be a longshot, but given that Fey, Poehler, Fallon and Meyers are all Saturday Night Live alums and it’s a huge move for the industry, it could happen.

So there you have it — a list of guesses about a night no one knows what to expect once Poehler and Fey hit the stage and the first bottle of champagne is popped. Stay tuned for more updates and coverage on the Golden Globes from Popculturology. I assure you we’ll have so much more on this!